Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
