Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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