it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
