I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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