Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
