3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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