I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
All the doctor said was why
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
