i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
