we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
