I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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