If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
