I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
