Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
