that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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