I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
