Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize