brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
