And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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