I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
