I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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