I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
