so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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