I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
