"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't EVER smell your tampon
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
