U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
