He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
