That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
