Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
