It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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