Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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