East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
