thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize