wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
