Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
