i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
