you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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