So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
