I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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