D3 body, D1 cock
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Who died my cat blue again?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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