Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
