if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
