What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
