Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
