He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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