No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
