The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Two words: blizzard sex
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
