So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
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