So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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