Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
did you just send me my own nude
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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