he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
