using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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