No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
