My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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