Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
