i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
