Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dicks are not precious.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
