i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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