Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to just BURY HIM!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize