Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
