clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
