What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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