I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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