i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
