I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
