i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dick very happy bro
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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