woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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