Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
