sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Even my vagina gasped.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
tell me about the fingering
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